SHARE5050 takes the position that parental alienation happens and we side with those alienated despite the reluctance of courts and mental health professionals to fully acknowledge the extent of which "programming parents" influence children during high-conflict separations and divorces. Pathological alignment in children was first recognized in 1976 with an abundance of testimony and research reinforcing its reality today. SHARE5050 also clearly delineates between a child's valid rejection of a parent (evidential & rational) and pathological alienation brought on by an alienating parent's manipulation and coercion.

 

It's unfortunately common that one parent -- angry, resentful, and vengeful, -- will weaponize the children against the other parent (we focus on intentionally rather than unintentionally). The children of an embittered divorce often become the emotional proxies of the alienator against the alienated. Additionally, maliciously intended parental estrangement can also involve the influence of extended family members or even siblings influencing one another. The alienated parent should be keen to observe unusual changes in the behaviors and attitudes of their children, particularly since slander and defamation is a primary tool of the alienator. Children may become suddenly averse to the alienated parent and exhibit inexplicable and irrational behavior, make unjustified and preposterous claims, or communicate moral extremes (the good vs. the bad). Never forget that these are children incapable of this level of introspection -- they are being psychologically brainwashed and are victims, too.

Bear in mind that parental alienation and its underlying causes are theoretical and complicated, many times implying some greater personal or family dysfunction. The alienating parent is likely to have one of several personality disorders and/or may be driven by the effects of previous personal trauma (i.e. feelings of inadequacy/fear of abandonment). Nonetheless, by virtue of "coaching," the alienator can effectively disguise their abuse as love if they validate or reward the children for rejecting the other parent. This kind of conditioning can actually occur very quickly considering children desire to avoid conflict and retreat to the safe (ironic) and familiar. Sadly, the longer one parent is alienated or isolated, the more difficult it becomes to re-establish trust.

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At this point you're probably wondering what your options are? Share5050 recognizes the expensive cost of therapy and courts, and the ineffectiveness of law enforcement on this issue. That said, we recommend finding a local support group or conference, and maintaining a calm determination. Your mission as the alienated parent is to break the spell put on your children by the alienator. You must become The Child Whisperer. This can be accomplished by methodical exposure and cognitive therapy as demonstrated by your direct actions and communication. Your children must become slowly convinced that their attitudes and conceptions of you are wrong. The alienator parent has likely convinced the children that you are the bogeyman but this fear can relieved with enough exposure. By a demonstrable show of interest, care, affection, and love with gentle communication you can slowly begin to re-train the thinking of your children. In more extreme or hopeless cases, you may have no choice to seek legal counsel. In the meantime, Share5050 advises keeping quality documented records in the event you need them later to show law enforcement, a therapist, or the courts.